Back in the Hazy Eighties, way back in '83, the family took a trip out west. As usual, we loaded the Sheeple Camper until it almost burst one of the wee tires, and loaded the Sheeple Suburban to the max with every thing a Sheeple Family could need on a westward journey through the Dakota's. I was seventeen and had no desire to leave the comfy confines of my band mates or D&D chums, no way. Apparently, I had a vote, they just didn't count it, so off I went, Walkman, tapes, and extra batteries in tow.
Well.. I had good company. I had acquired the Elric of Melnibone books after reading the first one a couple months back. So I figured me and Elric would listen to some Men at Work, and travel in the back seat as best we could. I had a feeling though, a terrible feeling, that it was gonna be one hot trip from one Sheeple Tourist Trap to another and it was going to be about as lame as a teenager on vacation with his parents could get.
That first day we drove to Ironwood Michigan, an all day trip from the City by the Bay. I was pretty much lost the whole time, except of course when we crossed the Mighty Mac. They just had to point out to me the wonderful view, how clear the sky, how blue the water, how far down it really was. I'm a timmy, someone who is afraid to cross the bridge. Don't get me wrong, I love the Mac, I just love it from the shore and not two hundred feet above the surface of the water. Other then that, me and Elric jammed to the boys from down under and arrived just fine at the first campsite.
I helped set up camp, it takes like fifteen minutes at this point, we had done it a gajillion times the past eight years or so. It got dark pretty quick, so I was done reading for the day. I did join in a rousing game of spitzer and then headed off to dream land. Twelve hours in the car and one book down, I was a tired camper.
The next day we headed into Minneapolis to visit a friend of my mom's that she went to nursing school with, way back in the Sheeple Prehistoric Sixties. I was bored out of my mind already and they could tell. I asked if I could check out the scene, I thought I was cool. I was in the Twin Cities man, home of the Revolution and that Minnesota Sound. I really wanted to head downtown, catch the music scene. Yeah, that wasn't gonna happen, but it was a thought.
What we did do, which was almost as cool, was go see a double header at the ball park. The Twins were playing the Angels, and well, I was still enough of a baseball freak to almost get excited. So sure, why not, I went along for the ride. The seats were okay, and I got to watch people throw pennies at Reggie Jackson in right field and boo him every time he came to the plate. Okay then, the lameness factor eased a bit right there. I always liked Reggie, and I'll give him credit, he took the abuse pretty well and only flipped off the crowd once.
After that, it was time to go sleep in the camper in the driveway, we had a big day of travel the next day, heading west to the Dakota's! I checked my stock of batteries and books. One book down and I plugged in a fresh set of batteries. Hey I was a scout, I was being prepared. I figure the lameness was just about to begin and I was already itching to go home, baseball or no. I thought about it a bit, if the trip was gonna go down like it had, I may have miscalculated and would have to restock the book pantry. I crossed my fingers something would catch my eye, being deprived of guitar and rolling dice was bad enough, but no music or books and I would walk home.
Little did I know the depths of Sheeple-hood my family could attain.